"Stop Trampling All Over My Grace!"
by Tara Chapman
October 2008
I have two boys, aged at the time of this writing 5 years and 16 months, respectively. I love them very much, and they're pretty well-behaved and obedient boys overall. Sometimes, they're the sweetest children I could ever hope to have. But, there are other times that they act like little hellions.
I give my children grace and mercy. For most offenses, they get at least one warning before they are punished. Sometimes, they have several warnings. Punishments range from standing on the wall in "time-out," being grounded from a certain activity or project (my favorite, as I instruct him to use that time to pray and reflect upon what he did), having things confiscated for a certain amount of time; and sometimes a swat or more with the switch we keep on top of our refrigerator is implemented. I really hate when we have to use the latter. I certainly hate doing it myself, and I hate just as much having to report to my husband that my older son has been disobedient and/or unruly and needs a switching. I try to avoid it. I try to instill in him a strong desire to be obedient and well-pleasing. I don't want to have to punish him. I want him to obey.
There are a lot of parents out there who do not give grace to their children at all. There are never any warnings, even on the smallest offenses. It's an immediate physical punishment for every little thing. Ironically, most of these are self-proclaiming "Christians," and the ones who are more likely to to bring out the switch against their child for every offense and without warnings--even when the child is sincerely remorseful and truly wouldn't repeat the action again without being punished--are the same ones who shout, "Saved by grace!" the loudest. But, you see, they shout "Saved by grace, not by works!" without understanding what it even means. They seem to believe being saved by grace means one can pick and choose which of God's laws they want to follow, and if someone points out to them that they're breaking other laws of God, they shout, "We're not saved by the works of the law. We're saved by grace! The law has been nailed to the cross." Hmmmm....but when it comes to their children, they expect their children to obey ALL of their rules, and there is little to no grace when there is transgression. That's a double-standard. They want grace from God, but they don't want to pass it along to their own children. It reminds me of the parable in Matthew 18:23-35.
This morning, I was about to make my bed, as I do every morning. My boys wanted to play on the bed while I lifted the cover high in the air repeatedly over them. Well, I was finally done doing that. My arms were tired, and I was ready to make the bed so that I could fix our breakfast. I told the boys to get off. My older was being stubborn, and after he'd moved off the bed, he came back and tried to interfere with my bed-making. I told him to please get back and stay clear so that I could make the bed. Again, he came back and interfered. I told him again that he'd better stay out of my way and off the bed so that I could make it, or else he'd be punished (second warning and first warning that he'd be punished if he did it again). I nearly had it completed, when he jumped onto the bed and crawled quickly across. That was it. I switched him. I was so disappointed in him. Afterward, he made excuses. Usually, he would apologize at this point, but this was one of those times where he still tried to justify his unrighteous actions even after his punishment. I told him that he AGREED to the rules and told me he understood clearly. There was no excuse. He had clear instructions and he had warnings. He continued to argue, and my calm composure metamorphosed more and more to anger, and I wondered whether he needed further punishment. Finally, I raised my voice, "STOP TRAMPLING ALL OVER MY GRACE!!" EDDHe shut his mouth after that.
There comes a time when all the grace runs out.
God doesn't want to punish anyone:
Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord GOD: and not that he should return from his ways, and live? Ezekiel 18:23
Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel? Ezekiel 33:11
The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9
Notice that God doesn't want anyone to burn to ashes in the lake of fire, but it requires REPENTANCE on the part of each individual. Many people seem to have the idea that before Christ came to die for our past sins and was risen to life as our high priest for sins committed after baptism, people were saved by the law, but now that's no longer the case. NO WAY! Nobody, but Christ, has been able to be saved by the law. The wages of sin is DEATH (Rom. 6:23), and ALL (except Jesus) have sinned (Rom. 3:23). We are saved by GRACE, indeed. But, ONLY those who repent and are zealous toward God's law RECEIVE grace. Just because Jesus died and shed his blood so that people could be saved by grace does NOT mean that simply uttering a belief that he was the Christ and died for sin or even being baptized will guarantee a person's salvation. Absolutely NOT. Repentance is required to receive grace and forgiveness of sins. Abraham, Moses, David, and all the other people who lived in Old Testament times were saved by GRACE through FAITH in Christ's future death, the same way we today are saved. It's ALWAYS been the same salvational plan. (Read Hebrews chapter 11) They didn't seem to think that grace through faith nullified the law. They kept it. Abraham was righteous and kept all of God's commandments BEFORE Moses codified them (Gen. 26:5). Moses kept God's laws, which he codified. David kept all of them (please read Psalm 119). Paul, whom people falsely accuse of writing that God's law has been "done away" or giving the idea that people can pick and choose which ones to keep, also kept God's law and stated that grace through faith did not nullify the law (Rom. 3:31). Certain people FIND grace in God's eyes. It's not given to just anyone. It's given to those with a repentant heart who are zealous for His way, His law. The bible states that Noah, Moses, David, and Mary all FOUND grace. All four found grace, BECAUSE they were zealous for God's law (Acts 7:46, Gen. 6:8; Luke 1:30; Ex. 33:12).
It was warned that people would turn God's grace into a license to sin (Jude 4). This is a wicked teaching from Satan. Several years ago, before my calling and conversion, I was arrested and charged with credit card fraud. I was guilty. I had already repented of it before arrest, and it took two-and-a-half years before I was summoned to federal court. I had drastically changed my life by that point and was also pregnant. To make a long story short, all charges were dropped against me. That's it. I was not penalized. The United States LAW demands punishment for my transgression of it. Yet, the penalty was not carried out. I was let go by GRACE. Did that mean I was then free to break it some more, if I wanted? Did that mean I could pick and choose (not counting their laws that contradict God's law) which laws to keep and which to break? There are plenty of statutes in the U.S. law with which I don't agree at all, and there are state-by-state laws with which I have absolutely no intention of following, so I do my best to live within a state that will not penalize me for the way I live (and I live by all of God's law). But, my point is that if you do not want to risk PENALTY, you better follow the law. All laws with which I'm familiar have penalties. If you transgress God's law (sin) without grace, you are UNDER the law, meaning you have a death penalty on your head. Some people ARE "under the law." All the transgressors that do not SEEK and DO God's law with all of their HEARTS have the death penalty on their heads. If you want to be "under grace," then you must have a repentant heart and keep God's law. I was let go by the United States government, because I'd shown repentance and a total lifestyle change. They showed GRACE, which was not required. They could have still punished me. Their law called for it. The United States law does not have a grace code. God's law calls for death, and He is not under any requirement to not carry through with it. His law does not have a grace code, either. Grace is a FREE gift, a gift of LOVE. None of us deserve it. But, He sees those who DESIRE to keep His law, who LOVE his law, who strive to KEEP it perfectly. THOSE are the ones who are shown grace. Many prisoners in this nation (United States of America) qualify for parole. Parole is defined by Answers.com as follows: The release of a prisoner whose term has not expired on condition of sustained lawful behavior that is subject to regular monitoring by an officer of the law for a set period of time. This is not much different than God's salvational plan. Grace is given on condition of repentance and baptism.
Just as I shouted to my son, "Stop trampling on my grace," the writer of Hebrews sternly gave a similar warning:
Heb. 10:26-30 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries. He that despised Moses' law died without mercy under two or three witnesses: Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace? For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
Anyone who desires to FIND GRACE in God's eyes must do it the same way every other person must do it. He or she must not only acknowledge Jesus' sacrifice and priesthood and have faith in the fact that it cleanses our past sins and sins from here forward, but he or she must also REPENT and keep God's law.
Prov. 3:1-4 My son, forget not my law, and let thy heart keep my commandments. For they shall add to thee length of days, and years of life and peace. Let not mercy and truth leave thee, put them about thy neck, and write them in the tables of thy heart: And thou shalt find grace and good understanding before God and men. (DRB)
Heb. 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Those who are seeking God and are striving to be perfect as Jesus is will find grace.
Unrighteous fools who do not repent don't find grace, but those who are just and upright will surely find it:
Prov. 14:9 Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is grace.
Luke 13:3 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
Psalm 119:155 Salvation is far from the wicked: for they seek not thy statutes.
Romans 2:13 For not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified.
And remember, if YOU want grace and forgiveness from your Father, then you should remember to give grace and forgiveness to others, including your children. I mess up on a near-daily basis, and I pray for grace and forgiveness every day. I REMEMBER this when I deal with my children. I strive to treat them the same way I want my Heavenly Father to treat me.
Matthew 6:14-15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Do you expect your children to OBEY your commands? Our Heavenly Father expects HIS children to OBEY His commands, too. If you desire to have grace and forgiveness, then STOP TRAMPLING ON HIS GRACE!!!!!